woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
