Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
