I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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