And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I would fuck him just for his dog
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
