Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
