dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
