Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
