is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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