Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
