her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I touched a dick in church today
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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