I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
