Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
