coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's blow job season.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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