So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Found your dick twin last night
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
