8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
