Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
