jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Someone signed my nipple.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
