One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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