i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
