I want to stick my p in your. b.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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