The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
