were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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