it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
