1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
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