Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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