Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
