I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Farmville is her only friend.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
