Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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