Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
