Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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