he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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