Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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