Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
