i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
