I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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