it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
sarcasm needs its own font
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
