the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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