I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
