I just saw a hot homeless man
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
