It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
