My first STD was from a foam party
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
