I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
