Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
