he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
