I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
third nipple confirmed
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
