hell yes lets make some ravioli
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
