if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
