he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
