Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
