just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
