Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
